Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Not Our Sponsor



In a word, BLECH!

In other words, ACK! YUCK! BARF-O! CHOKE! YAAAAK! ARGGA-BARGGA-BARGGA-BARGGA! PITOOIE!

File this under: Sounded good. Tasted not so much.

Kink wanted to bury it. Smart cat.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Evil Weevil Redeaux

Weevils. Paprika. Again.

Yes, again. Weevils ait my paprika!

I didn't even notice as I dumped them into my stew. No weevil screams. No weevil shouts of, "Weevil overboard!" Just shake, shake, shake, stir, stir, stir.

Only later when I removed the lid and stirred the sauce did I notice "foreign bodies." Dead foreign bodies. Floating.

I fished their little corpses out one by one, rather than starting over with dinner. According to the Food and Drug Administration weevils are "mostly" protein with some "crunchy bits." (Unless, of course, they've spent an hour in a stew hot tub.) I gave the sauce an extra good stir and ran some draglines along the bottom. No more weevils surfaced.

Note to self: buy sieve.

Unfortunately, I didn't discover the Weevil Holiday Resort in Paparika until I had dumped a sightseeing busload into my stew.

Unfortunately, I didn't discover the little freeloaders until they were free-styling in my sauce.

Fortunately, my family won't read this until tomorrow.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Eleven Two Two

Party Alert!

This is a Party Alert!

Twelve Two Two Fondue will be held exactly one month from today on, you guessed it, December 22nd!

Hence the name.

Twelve Two Two Fondue began as a fondue party on December 22, 2004 and has continued annually since.

This will be Twelve Two Two Fondue VI. Sort of like Rocky VI but with food and a plot.

You are all invited!

You are all invited around the World to host your very own Twelve Two Two Fondue party and webcast it, send us live pictures, stories, videos and your leftover cheese. (Waste not, want not. I always say that.)
It's twue that 12-22-fondue has been hosted in many countries and on all Seven continents. And, yes, I do count my friend the Polie who at least thought about eating cheese while in Antarctica. The penguins, of course, ate Fish Tacos.

So be there or be square. The Fonduemeister commands it.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Perspective

It was the best of nights. It was the worst of nights. It was the Fall of rain, and rain was falling.

There was a chill in the air but not enough to deter the mosquitoes who, judging from their size, had been feasting on pizza and beer.

Snugly wrapped in my Victoria's Secret Hot Devil outerwear I observed that nothing beats Fall camping.

From across the fire I heard, "I'm cold and I'm wet and I'm going to my tent. Whose idea was this anyway?" There was some shuffling and muttering that faded into the distance.

Snugly wrapped in my Victoria's Secret Hot Devil outerwear and silence I observed that nothing beats Fall camping.

The fire crackled and hissed as the drizzle met its doom but soon the drizzle turned into serious rain and I decided to turn in, too.

My tent, my domain. It needed fixing up because I just tossed my stuff in after I set it up. First, I inflated my Thermarest sleeping pad to the full Blue Whale setting for maximum comfort, redistributed the down in my personal sleeping enclosure ("sleeping bag" is so 60's) and checked the surroundings for any vermin who decided to join me for the night.

Safe and sound I snuggled down for a short not-quite-winter's nap. Dark-thirty would come soon enough and as camp cook I'd be expected to have hot coffee ready before dawn. That's a tough assignment because Dawn has coffee ready early!

I slept like a baby. That is, waking up every two hours crying, but otherwise I enjoyed the pitter patter of rain on the tent, the gentle wind and especially being snugly wrapped, etc, etc.

Dawn came all too soon and before I knew it I was standing over a hot stove brewing the first pot of coffee of the day. It was still raining, cold, and everything was wet, but the smell of brewing coffee revived my spirits and I was sure it was going to be a grand day.

Hark! Was that the sound of thunder? Er, no, it was the sound of grumble. Trudging towards me was an obviously unhappy camper.

"Top of the morning! Could I interest you in a cup of hot, freshly brewed coffee? Did I mention that it's free?"

"Whatever."

Not the reply I was expecting, usually people ask to have my baby for a cup of hot coffee on a cold wet morning, I just poured out a cup of brew and handed it over.

"How was your night?" I asked, knowing the answer.

Camper looked up and related a tale of woe, call it the Rime of the Ancient Wet Camper. Camper told me that he pitched his tent in a depression that filled up with water. His tent leaked. His sleeping bag got wet and then cold. He forgot his stocking cap so his head was cold, and his socks were wet so his feet were cold. He tried mopping up the water in his tent using a t-shirt but when he opened his tent to wring out the shirt, more rain came in than shirt wrung water went out. There was more woe to tell but I was all woed out and don't remember the details.

He was cold, wet and not a happy camper.

"So," he asked, "how was your night?"

I thought about how I had selected a site for my tent which was on harder, more uneven ground, but higher than the surrounding pasture. I thought about how I had planned for the Fall weather and, since it had been raining all day while I was packing, threw in some extra socks and clothes just in case. I thought about how I had re-sealed the seams of my tent so they wouldn't leak and how I had brought an extra ground tarp because I knew the ground would be wet when I pitched my tent.

I thought about my sleeping pad inflated to Blue Whale comfort and that I had brought an Indian blanket which made it Sleeps-Like-Blue-Whale.

I thought about how I was woken up hours before dawn by a sudden intensity of rain, but in my Blue Whale warmness quickly drifted back to the Land o' Squid and deep six sleep.

I thought that because I was prepared for the weather I had a great night, enjoyed it immensely and would look back on this weekend as a great camping experience.

Yep, one of the best nights ever.

"Well," he persisted, "how was your night?"

Not wanting to ruin his coffee I replied,

"Much the same, my friend, much the same."

Friday, November 20, 2009

Tortilla Warmer

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Manjula Strikes Again

A recent edition of Manjula's Kitchen featured Spinach Salad with Walnut Ginger Dressing.

I was intrigued with the idea of using ginger juice which is obtained by grating fresh ginger onto a cutting board then squeezing the ginger pulp over a small bowl. The ginger juice drops out quite freely and it doesn't take much grating to obtain a tablespoon or so of juice. I'm sure I'll find other uses for this technique.

Here are the main ingredients: olive oil, balsamic vinegar, ginger juice, walnuts, salt/pepper/sugar and (not shown) lemon juice. These are buzzed up in a small food processor. Add a little water if the dressing is too thick, a function of the walnuts, I think.



Chop fresh spinach leaves into bite sized pieces and toss with chopped tomato and chopped apple.



Add the dressing, toss and finish with feta cheese. I didn't have feta, but I had some fresh goat cheese that worked out great. Note the sloppy presentation! Serving guests the salad looks better with the dressing drizzled around the leaves, garnished by the cheese and tossed just before serving.



And, finally, Baked Salmon with Rosemary. Salmon is placed on a bed of rosemary and sliced red onion, topped with rosemary and lemon, and baked at 500 degrees for 20 minutes.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Bacon Wrapped Twinkie?

If you value your health in the SLIGHTEST, do not go to this website.

You have been warned!

This Is Why You're Fat dot Com documents those gastronomic inventions that have to be seen (not eaten) to be believed.

Some of my "favorites" are:


Bacon Wrapped Pigs in a Blanket - actually, that doesn't sound too bad!

Deep Fried Chocolate Cake - slices of cake batter coated, deep fried and served with ice cream.

Ultimate Hot Dog - cheese infused hot dog, batter coated, deep fried, wrapped in bacon and deep fried again.

El NiƱo - giant "taco" made out of a pepperoni pizza folded over ground beef, onions, cheese, lettuce and sour cream

Deep Fried Brat Loaf - bratwurst, sauerkraut and bun, batter coated and deep fried

(there's definitely a theme to these dishes!)




And, finally, my favorite, two taste treats in one, the Taco Burger:

Jack-in-the-Box taco stuffed into a Jumbo Jack Burger with Cheese.

Ain't it purdy!



So, what would you do if you could create a taste treat likely to kill you?

Me, I'd create an enchilada dinner taco: chicken enchiladas and refried beans with extra beef, cheese, lettuce and sour cream in a taco shell.

Oh, hang on, I've already done that.

Nevermind.